Yoga to make her smile.

Yoga to make her smile (sung to the tune of banz to make her dance).

I was a bit grumpy all day, don’t know why. No patience for anything. Everyone and everything was just a tad bit irritating. Not to mention I was damn near exhausted (well I guess you would be after being so grumpy all day).

I had planned to go to yoga after work. Well I got in the car and thought, yoga or home for a nice long nap. Nap, I decided. I started driving towards the freeway anyway. Half way to the next city over, I thought about yoga or pulling off at the closest exit and going home for a nice long nap. Nap, I decided. But I just kept driving straight forward. Finally, I parked at the gym and turned my car off. I stopped for a moment and thought, one last time, about yoga or turning the car back on and driving back home for a nice long nap. Nap, I decided. But I got my ass out of the car and walked into yoga class.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh (as in ‘how relaxing,’ not ‘shit there’s a spider!). I left class with a smile on my face, I believe the first smile that day ; ). Well a smile and an open mind and heart.

I’m learning to live like this all the time (with the smile). And yes, right now, there are moments when I am and moments when Im not. There are moments where I feel so on top of my world and everything is going my way, and there are moments where I’m awkwardly uncomfortable and really unsure of things.

Anyway, what I know for certainty is that it’s all worth it, the moment I let go and smile (however long or short it takes me to do so). Even if takes me ignoring myself at times in order to do what I truly wanted to in the first place.

Running, Running.

While a lot is going ‘wrong’ in my diet/health/sanity path right now, there is one thing I’m hanging on to against all odds. Running. I’m very new, still doing very short intervals. But this is still more than I had done in years.

I kind of feel like running is something that no one can take away from me. And that says a lot that I realize that because, given the 21 cm tumor on my hip, I am actually thankful that I CAN run. And I can, so I shall.

I had started walking quite a few weeks ago, up to 4 miles at a time. My lovely mother bought me an awesome pair of running shoes (knowing how much I was in need due to the walks, and knowing that I eventually hoped to — dare I say it– jog). Now, I don’t know how she picked these shoes, and I wasn’t with her. As I have heard, people run differently and have different needs when it comes to shoes. But, luckily, my shoes have suited me very well.

I also started one day (about 2 and a half weeks ago) using the Couch-5K application on my iPhone. It is amazingly simple and awesome. I highly recommend it. It starts you off with very short intervals of running and gradually increases and it tells you exactly what to do and when. It also allows you to track your progress with little notes as to how you feel after each run, along with a GPS that tracks your distance, location ran, mileage, and mile time. Finally, it allows you to post each workout to Facebook (or twitter if you so tweet) for all your friends to like and boost you onward.

I was uncomfortable, awkward, embarrassed, and unsure during my first jog. I felt like I looked like an abominable creature who didn’t know what she was doing. I was thankful I had my dog with me because most fellow jogger/walker/bikers had their eyes locked on my cute little pooch instead of me which was very helpful that first time. Now, I’m a little closer to umm proud and belonging on the trail? I have a long ways to go, and I envy the runners that seem to just be running. No intervals, just running. But as long as I keep moving forward, that will be me one day and,  with any luck, one day soon!

I am also fortunate, I’d say, that I just moved to a new home and have a pretty awesome trail right behind me. It takes me a quick 5 minute walk to get to the trail (which, imagine that, is just the right time to warm up in), and from there it is probably about 15 miles (I’ll never know the whole trail, I’m sure, but at least I know the possibilities are nearly endless).

Notice the huge sprinkler in the back there, one day I swear I will run all the way to the sprinkler and have a blast of it… just waiting on the courage to rebel! (PS: Anyone know how much trouble I could get in, by the way? : )